Webster’s online offers four definitions of skeptic. I’m only going to talk about two. Yes, the other two have merit in a discussion of parenting- but I am not a philosopher. I’m not raising my kids to wonder if We are real or if our life is true… They will at some point question what reality is, I have no doubt, but chances are they’ll be doing that in a class at college.
Instead I want to look at two of the definitions that I think are the most relevant for this blog.
The first: Of or pertaining to a sceptic or skepticisim; characterized by skepticism; hesitating to admit the certainty of doctrines or principles; doubting of everything.
By the time B, my oldest, was born, I was well on my way towards atheism. I didn’t call it that at the time and I still felt there must be “something greater” out there, I just didn’t know what it was. I also knew that I didn’t want my child following anything blindly. Without making a conscientious decision, I starting raising her to be a skeptic. B was very much a “why?” kid. “Why are trees brown?” “Why is learning important?” “Why do I have to go to bed?” In trying to be a good parent (whatever that is!) I can count on both hands the number of times I told her, “Because I said so!” I just don’t tell her that. There are times, I wish I would have. Times, now that she is 16, that I wish she’d just accept my saying no because I’m the Mom and that’s how it works. But that would be selling her short and I’m not willing to do that.
As she’s gotten older, she questions different areas. She debates with her teachers at school when she feels they’re misinforming her. She pleaded to skip out on “Health” class because she already knows how her body works. She will continue to question as she continues to grow into an adult and that is the most rewarding thing about being a parent. Without meaning to, not the first five years anyway, I have raised someone who is not willingly to accept what she’s told without learning more. It will influence the jobs she gets, how she votes, who or if she marries… and I could not be more proud.
Little C is already inquisitive by nature, most baby’s are. At 1.5 years, her favorite question is, “What’s that?” She wakes up asking, pointing to the fan, her Dad, the dog, the computer- all things she knows and is familiar with, but she still wants me to answer her questions. Even though she doesn’t understand, we explain things to her. “You can’t eat the cat food because it will make you throw up.” “You can bang on the pots and pans, but only when Mom’s not in the kitchen.” I want her to question not only what, but why. She shouldn’t take what I say at face value. I’m not an expert in anything. Just like with B, I want C to turn to books and the internet when I don’t know something and help me learn as well.
So, why is this important? Why should I encourage my child to not accept something the teacher says as fact? Better yet, why should you?
Everyone is presented with truths and facts all day from different sources. As adults we get information from the news, the tv, the internet, our partners, friends, bosses… There must be a certain level of skepticism; else we believe everything to be true. In this age of information overload, we have to question sources and the information we receive. (If it’s on the internet, it Must be true!)
Children too are bombarded with information. Most of what they learn in school is true. 1+1 really does equal 2. The Earth really is round. Pink really is a combination of white and red. But they’re also presented with information that isn’t true, or is only half true. Columbus did not discover America. (Neither did Amerigo Vespucci). You can’t see the Great Wall of China from Space. Yet our kids are still taught these things in school. We need to teach our children the importance of questioning so they don’t grow up believing everything they hear, see, or read. The smarter our kids are, the better the future will be- in every way.
Children who are skeptical become adults who are skeptical. They will not be satisfied with the status quo in any aspect of their lives. That is all I can hope for in my kids. Question everything and don’t accept the answer unless it is verifiable. Apply that to all aspects of life. Let’s encourage our kids to be smarter than us by questioning even us.
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