How to Create an Army of Godless Children

As parents, our roles are many and our job is endless. We strive to give our children the tools they need to make good decisions from the time they are old enough to walk. How do we enable our children to make good decisions about religion? (Even if they grow up and become Christians).

Give them information!

A woman (Melissa) in an Atheist Group that I moderate posted about her child telling her she doesn’t believe in God. Melissa talked about learning in an atheist panel to not indoctrinate children into atheism. She said, “Give them truth and let them decide for themselves. The choice will be easy.”

As an atheist parent she’s very proud that her child has decided, based on information, that God isn’t real.

For the most part, I agree about giving kids the truth and allowing them to make up their minds. But it should ALWAYS be age appropriate. Here’s my experience with it:

When my oldest (B) was little, she went to church with my Grandparents fairly often. She enjoyed the activities and liked playing with the kids and I thought it was harmless. She got to go play and I got a break from parenthood for a few hours every Sunday. Then she came home one day in tears. (You saw that coming didn’t you?) She was mortified that when she died she was going to go to heaven and I wouldn’t be there. It took hours to calm her down and a few days to get her past the idea that Mommy was going to burn in hell forever while she was with the angels with Grandma. She was four when this happened.

Needless to say that was the last time I allowed her to go to church. As she got older, she started asking questions about religion and God. I am a very vocal atheist and part of her interest was based on that. Why does Mom think God is not real? Before I became (self actualized?) an atheist I read tons of religious literature. I was brought up a Nazarene and when I left the church I check out Pentecostals, Baptists… then Satanism… then Buddhism, Taoism, Wicca. Pretty much anything I could read about, I did. I was trying to find something that fit. I realized after quite a bit of study that most of it is the same. (Buddhists get a pass from me and Taoism is a philosophy not a religion). The point: I kept all of those books and as B grew and was able to understand more, I gave her books to read and answered her questions as best I could.

At 16, B is a self-confirmed atheist. As a parent, I am so proud. Not because she believes or thinks like I do but because I taught her to question everything, even me. She came to this conclusion on her own.

My youngest, C, is almost 2. Because it was such a heart wrenching experience with B, C is not going to be allowed to go to church at all, not till she's older. I will do the rest the same- when she starts asking (and she will; we live in a small, very conservative town (55,000) and most of the friends she’ll make at school will belong to one of the 64 churches in our town) I’ll direct her to age appropriate books and do my best to answer her questions or direct her to someone who can.

My gut instinct with C is to not only not allow her to go to church but to put down those who do. As a parent, I feel an overwhelming urge to protect her from what will hurt her and keep her safe from the judgments. But I know the best way to parent is to arm her with knowledge and information and allow her to make up her own mind. I won’t lie- I will be heartbroken if C grows up to be a Christian. But if she makes an informed decision, I will love her and be proud, regardless of her decision.

Let them teach the Bible in School!

The subject came up this morning in an atheist parenting group that I’m no longer a member of.  The conversation started as a link to an article about an Ohio area that is considering teaching Creationism in its schools.

Before I get going- this is NOT about teaching Creationism in a science classroom. Mythology has no place in our science education. If some big discovery comes along and gives Creationism some sort of relevance as a scientific theory- okay- fine. Until then, it should not be taught as science.

The gist of the argument was this: The bible should not, under any circumstance be taught in school. Not even as historical literature because it's violent, sexist, full of rape, slavery, bigotry, etc. Christians also argue that the literature already being taught in school is that way and that it needs to be removed and replaced with the Bible. 

On the surface, I agree with the argument, but only on the surface. This is why: 

We teach Shakespeare. We teach him to introduce meter, rhyme, conflict and resolution- to help develop critical thinking. These things are important to learn. Anyone who’s read Shakespeare with even a basic understanding knows that his plays are also full of sexism, murder, genocide, suicide, lies, manipulation- all things we don’t want our kids to become part of. But we teach it; because it’s something our kids should know. (We also teach it at an age appropriate level).

We teach Homer. The Iliad and The Odyssey are important books to read. Our tradition of writing comes from the Greeks. We need to know where this came from. But both novels are full of incest, murder, patricide, etc., But they also teach pride, heroism, cultural relevance… and we learn it through an epic poem with main characters who are greatly flawed and overcome themselves anyway.

Not to mention Huckleberry Finn, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, Paradise Lost, Hedda Gobbler, and numerous other works of literature that have all of the same types of things in them as the Bible does. If we use the same reasoning above that is being applied to the Bible, we shouldn’t be teaching literature at all. (And all of these books have God or religion in them to some extent).

 

The Bible has some of the world’s best poetry and prose within its pages. Song of Songs is brilliant writing. The story of Noah and the Ark is an awesome adventure that teaches perseverance. It should not be taught as science, of course not! But we cannot ignore the religiosity of our history and our literature as atheists. To do so is to completely ignore where we came from and we’ll never progress if we do that. 

So, I say teach the Bible in the classroom, in a literature class, where it will be taught alongside other great literary works.